Do you ever feel like you've completely dropped every single ball you're trying to juggle? That's me. In fact, I don't even know why I'm sitting here blogging instead of doing the dozens of things I should be getting done.
I have a class all day tomorrow and Thursday that I need to finish homework for. I have an entire book to read for starters--I've known that I have to read it since about December, but lately the only reading I get done is "I Love Monkey", or "Knuffle Bunny", or the "Pokey Little Puppy"--you get the idea. By the time Sofia goes to bed at night, I'm wiped. And then I muster up the energy it takes to finish the highest priority item that's been placed on the back burner. (Usually means re-running the washing machine because I ran a load a day or two ago, but got distracted and forgot to throw it in the dryer; washing the supper dishes; ironing a pair of pants and shirt for David for work tomorrow; going over lesson plans for work the next day and then falling into bed. Crap! Get up and go throw those towels into the dryer or you'll be washing them again tomorrow!)
My house is always a disaster. Always. Right now you can't see the top of my dining room table, there are dust bunnies in almost every corner of the floor, and the basement is still ripped apart. Because the basement's ripped apart, half of its contents are in my upstairs and the other half are crammed into my storage room downstairs. Everywhere I look, there's sh**. (When will these renovation projects end?!) We had a plumbing disaster on Saturday when I apparently exceeded the limits of the garbage disposal but didn't realize it. Both sides of the basin sink downstairs were full of water and disposaled (is that even a word?!?!) food. Everything was working fine upstairs at the kitchen sink, so the only reason I discovered the problem was because I went to go put a load of laundry into the machine. I ran and got David, because hell if I know how to fix it, and in the process of him fixing it, the trap of the basin sink gave out and we had a nasty mess all over the laundry room/work shop area. I knew it was bad when I heard, "!@#$%^--Call an aunt!". Eight minutes later, my sister was here and David and I were ankle deep in water and what used to be the forgotten leftovers in the refrigerator. Fast forward to Sunday and me trying to clean the rest of the house and wash all the towels, rugs, and rags that were wet and filthy from the mess yesterday. In the process, I mention to my husband that my stress level regarding this house has reached its limit. A discussion ensues, and said discussion turns into an argument. A big one. Probably would have been bigger, but Sofia was up. Steam is still coming out of my ears, by the way. It's now Monday (Happy President's Day, by the way), and after a trip to the dentist this morning (and a return visit scheduled for March because I have a cavity. What the hell? What 29-year old still gets cavities?)I returned home to my husband working on my sister's wedding invitation design and my mom and other sister watching Sofia. As Mom is leaving, she says, "Why don't you send your ironing with me. If I don't do it, it won't get done. I know how things go around here." REALLY?!?! Like I don't feel enough guilt? Because I enjoy feeling like a failure of a homemaker, wife, and mother?!
I work full time and am trying to raise a daughter and keep house with a husband who works over 70 hours a week (I kid you not.) It's not that he doesn't want to be home-- he's just trying to provide for his family as best he can and get these renovations finished. (Although, his renovation addiction is part of the fuel for this fire..............but that's a topic for another day........) It's just so hard to get everything done and meet expectations. Expectations that I mostly have of myself. I am just too Type-A. And probably read too much of "Real Simple" and "Better Homes and Gardens" than is healthy for my self-esteem.
Off I go. I need to get homework done and go scrub the bathroom. And Google "cleaning ladies". I wonder how that would go over...
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